Really!
Seriously!
Yeah just stop….please.
It feels like it is.
Sounds like it is.
That instant gratification to be told it is.
But that’s the grand illusion.
Male, female…same shit.
Say it with me now…
It’s just your time!!
Feelings, no matter how temporary, were authentic at some point during your whatever situation. Remember your first crush? Ever thought you would get over that person? Like even remotely possible? Fast forward three years and hell you can barely remember what they look like. Life is funny like that. The conflict that arises in this “game” as I call it are the temperatures within the game.
Hot.
Cold.
Warm.
Fuck is warm?
Ehh… I’m leaning towards either indecisive or being unreadable.
Anyway. The shit is never yours. Almost like paying rent without the option to buy. Shiiiiitttttt (Clay Davis voice) even if it was bought, you can still lose it.
Nothing and no one is safe!
Finally and I do mean finally, the breaking point has been reached. Maybe even surpassed if you will. Why? Why you ask? You know I got you.
Why do we emotionally attach ourselves to something that is temporary?
Listen…
I don’t care if you been with each other for ten years plus.
Things change…shit happens!
That’s one side of the spectrum I speak of though. What kills me is this emotional obsession we seem to have with politics.
To make it worse and border line fucking stupid (sorry not sorry) is the reasoning of the politics.
You can’t make this shit up!
So you telling me every relationship, casual or long term, you go into it with the notion of this may be the one? The one I marry?
Seriously?
Is it because we were born into a system that breeds attachment? Was it always like this? Who said monogamy is the foundation of the human race?
Cool.
As nicely as I can say it…it’s bullshit.
People are so heart broken when they get divorced, dumped, cheated on is because they attached themselves. As cold as it seems, people come and go.
Things change, shit happens!
Yes I saw us having three babies with the two door garage, his and hers Rolls Royces. I even heard the baby cry. I get it.
I just feel we shouldn’t be so attached to being attached.
The it’s this way because it is what is right.
Says who?!
Your mother? Who told her it was right? Her mother? And who told her?
My Lord!!
The headache that’s brewing.
Now I’m not saying just completely flip off “love”.
Not at all.
What I’m implying and will keep implying is why tame what is natural? If we connected on a vibe and it turns intimate, why not? Because I have a girl? Because you have a man?
So because of the those two variables, you automatically get turned off? So the way I touched you. The way we shared passion no longer exists because of status? Is this coming from you or society? You or morals that were somewhat instilled into you?
So let’s say one does follow through and gives it all up for you. What the fuck you think is going to happen to you?? Next year or fifteen years? It is never yours! NEVER! Even the significant I spoke of is not yours.
It’s just your time.
Even casual relationships sometimes can get messy depending on the maturity of the two involved. In order to have sex with someone unless it’s for money or under pressure(fuck every rapist), some type of interest has to be there. Some sort of a connection. The problem is born when one or both decide to nurture that connection. Instead of keeping it purely physical, they start to talk more. You know. The cuddling after. The lovemaking on the phone. They feed that connection. Now it slowly starts to blossom. Sex is no longer the only reason why they call.
How was your day? How your weekend looking?
You know things of that nature.
The twist comes when all of this is taking place as one or both are already involved. How the fuck is that even possible?
It’s like a double life.
Another family even.
Now conversations drip in emotions. Story telling now becomes censored and littered with half truths. The mere thought of someone kissing him or her like you turns the stomach into knots.
But she is not yours.
It felt like it though bro.
Nahhhh!!
Not yours!
The test of resolve comes in when you can’t stop thinking about them even when you are with your significant other.
The yearn for their taste and touch. You look at your other with destain. You don’t want to be here right now. You don’t like that perfume anymore. That laugh is annoying.
Damn fuck am I doing?
Listen…
The game of discussion cannot be played by the emotionally weak. The ones who have been damaged thru relationships. It cannot be played by those who think love answers all. The ones who rather settle with someone because “they can’t be alone”.
Kill Yourself! (Sorry not sorry)
You really must be a calculated empathic killer. Something like the Ice Man. Murder by day, family by night. It’s a sickening balance yet one that deserves massive respect. To balance the mind in such a way is phenomenal. The action of being able to love multiple people without any one feeling hurt is powerful. The ability to turn an emotion on and off is down right bad ass. Of course many and I do mean many will say I’m a sick bastard. That I am making excuses.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Blah, blah!
What I admire so rigorously is the freedom of emotions. You are no longer controlled by happy or sad. You no longer let depression or negative vibes soak in your mental. You decide what you feel. How long you feel it.
Fucking amazing!!
This is the definition of freedom to me.
To be able to control how you feel, not let how you feel control you.
I say all of that to say this…
It’s never yours. What is yours however are your own emotions. Once you realize this little nugget, you now can receive the tests to master your emotions. The obstacle courses which in the end will harden your control are needed. You are no longer a slave to this bullshit called “feelings”. You want to be involved and do you, master those “feelings”. Don’t get mad at shorty or the bro for doing them as well. Charge it to the game. If you can’t play by the rules you shouldn’t be playing. Don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t whine. Don’t sulk. Control your shit. Always tell thy self…it’s not yours. I’m not advocating to be a cold hearted bastard…
Well somewhat.
I’m advocating for balance.
You must know when to go all in and when to fold. Time is life worthy and to waste it is a sin. Stop picking the wrong targets or stop playing altogether. The rules of such games are already morally fucked up depending on your outlook. You must constantly keep the goal you targeted throughout to maintain some sort of sanity. Do not get caught up in emotions. Get caught up in the facts. His touch made you weak, melt in his arms.
Random: if him having a girlfriend meant that much to your “moral code of ethics”, you wouldn’t have known his touch made you weak. You already picked the alarm, might as well see what you can get.
Trouble either way right?
You and her got a good thing going on, keep those uncontrolled emotions to yourself.
Shit maybe that’s even the reason why what you two share even lasted so long.
The comfortableness. The I can be myself feeling when you two vibe out.
If you think I’m bat shit crazy or making excuses for slime, that’s fine. However if you got anything out of this whole article, we must be in charge of our own emotions. Do you understand? Like can you grasp the visual of living in a world where everyone could tell you exactly why they were mad? Excited? Depressed? All done with self awareness and reasoning. No scripts.
No “hardcore” drugs.
Just self awareness.
Reign those emotions!
You and only you!
Yeah you!!
Can determine when you happy or angry!
For how long!
No one else!
Don’t give none of these suckers that control over you. You think she cares that you are thinking about her all night while you sleep with your significant other?
She fucking does!!
But due to politics and being close minded, she will make you lose yourself trying to find her.
Same with men.
All those mixed messages will start to have you dancing to a tune you never knew existed.
Don’t allow that!!
In a game so morally conflicted, you cannot allow such weakness. Yes love your woman. Love your man. Just love yourself during it all. No one and I mean no one is above self. If you want to play dirty (have cake and some) just understand the rules you need to follow. I have no objection to anybodies’ decision when they accept all responsibility. You knew what you wanted to do, what could happen and what couldn’t. Take your consequences like a king/queen. Make no excuses. Show no uncontrolled emotions. That is personal and can ruin everything you worked for. Before every reaction, step out to ask “what would I gain”? That bitch called feelings” will ruin your life quicker than any drug. You must stay grounded. Feet in mud, poured on top with concrete.
You can’t be any help to anything or anyone when you can’t tell me who you are.
Stop feeling, start learning!
And remember
In regards to emotions…
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. It’s not when you win that counts, it’s how you bounce back from the lost that does.
PayneInTheCulo 