Frank and beans!
He was masturbating!
Ahhhh…
The good ole swag off.
Choking the chicken.
Beating my man.
Beating my beat.
Spanking the monkey.
Catching money.
Cashing checks.
Unloading the gun.
Anymore?
Besides the code names, masturbation has been in my life since I was still wet behind the ears. The excitement when I realized I could create such euphoria by my lonely. I even remember the day it all clicked to me. At first I would go right until I felt the pop but wouldn’t pop. I figured I would piss myself. The fear yet amazement that surged through my body was life changing. I knew right then and there when Behind The Music cut to commercial, I would never be the same.
Listen…
When I finally found some courage, I let it pop. The confusion when nothing came out when clearly my soul just left my body. Ahhh this is what they mean by “shooting air”.
I believe this was the end of my 6th grade year. The timing couldn’t have been worse. The skirts were starting to get lower. The girls started to dance a little closer. Lap dances developed into its own point system.
…Damn I’m horny!
The journey I found myself on now was brand spanking (literally) new. I could feel my soul leave whenever I chose to. Yet I lived in an apartment with three other people.
…They better stay out my way!
What started out as a simple expedition became a way of life. I must have been beating my man at least, AT LEAST seven times a day. It could be movie sex scene. If that wasn’t accessible within the arsenal, I had no quarrel with Channel 35…
Robyn Bird wassup!!
A naked female,
With some moans
And we got ourselves a festival!!
No need for tissues or t shirts either.
Talk about clean.
With this new found treasure, my perspective on life became a never ending porno. I started imagining what every woman looked like ass naked.
How they moaned.
The faces they made when in pleasure.
Fucking pervert.
Trust me the fight within is way more powerful than your opinion.
No offense taken.
As the years passed, sadly* I still commit this deadly sin. It has found its way on the same priority list as brushing my teeth.
No bullshit!!
The only legit change was the accessibility to the material needed. Late night television started to lose its mystical affects. The books became dull in vision.
These vicious cock blockers took the hotbox away not too long ago.
Damn!
I needed a new fix.
And fast.
Hello internet!!!
My buddy!
My pal!
My needle in the vein…in a strange sense.
I just had to chuckle writing that.
Your boy was really The Baiting Master.
I remember vividly at this time of the internet, you actually had to download the content…
And could preview only what was downloaded at the time.
Shaking My Damn Head!
And if you was like me, I had a good three to four videos downloading at the same time.
Mind you, all of this on the house computer.
Nasty ass….
Was this LimeWire?
I believe so…
Anyway if the content was actually what was written on the title and it downloaded the whole thing…SHOWTIME!!
Mind you again, the computer had to be a good four to five steps from both mine as well as my mother’s room.
Nasty ass…
The fucking awards I should receive for pulling this off should be monumental!!
The ability to choke the chicken while actually listening verbatim to the storyline to then release the soul from its cage to then clean up…all without being detected…most of the time, lmao.
Detection!!
Ooooooo detection was and is…
Top three most embarrassing, dirty, and self aware moments ever!!
Ever!!
The look of straight WHAT THE FUCK when your mother is walking by you while you still debating whether the screen said
stop or cock.
I still cringe at that memory and many more. You would think after the first time, I would have put better security measures in place.
SMH…
I was thinking with the wrong head.
During my introduction to the internet, movies were also very popular.
BRUH!!
The cases. The boxes. The selection of DVDs was endless. I remember when I lived with roommates, we had a whole cabinet dedicated to porno.
Just put it back without any evidence was the only rule!
This shit was serious people.
You telling me I can go from Ebony to Latina back to BBW all with the DVD remote?
Mind you I had the four disc DVD player, so my pieces WERE HITTING!
Anyway I was in charge. The freedom to beat off with the volume up with no distractions was awesome. You would have thought I was Whit Chamberlain with all this ass.
NOPE!
Just me, the remote, and the whole box of tissues.
Shit, I may have to digress real quick.
NEVER EVER USE TISSUES OR PAPER TOWELS!!
It took me years and I do mean years to figure this out.
The tissue sticks to you, the chicken, your fingers. Looking like you had an orgy with Charmin. If you was like me, I’m taking the house paper towels which would leave the house literally assed out…
SMH!!
As I learned finally, maybe only two years ago, shirts are the best way to go.
It’s spacious. It won’t stick. And the throw out is simple.
USE SHIRTS!!
Let’s get back to it.
Everyday.
Everyday, I had a date with my videos.
Some time after that my life was to be changed once again…
I was put on to free porno on the internet…
AWE SHIT!!
You telling me it’s like the DVD player without changing any discs?
No more eject?
No more menu screens?
A click of the button gives me access to over a hundred videos?
WHAT THE…
Bruh!! I couldn’t believe it.
Nah, what’s the catch?
Ahhh, what no one did tell me (did they have to) was the catch involved commitment.
Commitment!?
I was obsessed with porn!!
I couldn’t go a day without releasing!
You know that feeling.
That excitement you get when you got plans to go out with friends.
Yeah exactly!
I needed the right scene.
The right angle.
The right girl.
Wow!!
You think after all of this new found information it would cease?
You must not know.
Fellas…
Even the ladies…
Have you ever finished beating off and was disgusted with yourself?
Asked self what it is that you are doing?
You better than that you tell yourself.
Yet through all the self bashing, why is your hand finding its way back to the area?
Didn’t you tell yourself this the last time?
Lmao…
Never that easy is it?
There are two extreme cons in my opinion in regards to Baiting The Master.
The first extreme is when you rather watch porno than have actual sex with your partner. This is ludicrous in every single explanation possible. If this is your case I advise to really check that out. Nothing can outdo the authentic release, that friction created.
NOTHING!!
The second extreme is when you jerk all your energy out…
SMH!!
YOOOOO!!
I got the whole day planned for production.
I’m going to wake up early.
I’m going to the gym.
I will clean the house, do laundry, and anything else that needed attention.
First…let me let one go.
Okay let me let this second one go.
Damn…
Nut number seven felt like everything!
Now it’s the afternoon.
Nothing is completed but a dry shirt now drenched.
Energy level depleted like they stole your powers.
Your legs feel massive.
Going back to sleep seems the most logical thing to do.
I’ll do all my chores tomorrow.
Yes!!
This is very real!!
Sadly I experienced this more than I would have liked but such is life.
What’s more intriguing is it goes deeper than just self pleasure.
This shit is a survival tactic!
Something like the Green Beret training.
What do you mean DRC?
You know I got you…
Fellas, comment if I am lying, there are numerous reasons for selective occasions as to why this is done.
The first one is simple…
We are horny!
Unless you Trigga or the vibes are radiating non stop, ass isn’t always available.
Even if it is…
What game shorty going to play today?
How much is in my account?
So to avoid all the shit politics, simply go on the internet.
No date money, no short convos, and no walking on eggshells for the ass.
I can fast forward to my favorite part
…then sloooww it down.
Rewind it to that exact face she made.
Pause it.
Zoom in.
Shittttttttttttt!!! (Clay Davis voice)
All types of power issues going on here.
And as we all know it’s all about power.
How perfect is porno?
It provides that for men in a way that is very intoxicating.
They didn’t tell us that though…SMH.
I can bust a nut to every race in less than a hour?
For free??!!
Shittttttttttttttt!!! (Clay Davis voice)
If you really want to get involved they even got POV style videos.
Bruh!!!
Fascinating…lmao!!
Now that we cleared that up, let’s touch (no pun) on the second reason as to why we embrace this ritual.
Reason number two is far more serious in my opinion.
Just throwing that out there.
Anyway, we Bait The Master to filter out the mental pollution.
E.g. rash emotions, rash actions.
Such emotions that are manifested which can hinder any growth accomplished.
You know I got you…
Let’s say you met this female.
The vibes were without a doubt embraced.
Fellas, correct me if I’m wrong, being horny has its own mutant powers.
We tend to go very dumb when erected. That haircut we questioned on you now looks phenomenal.
That ass looks super fat.
Some call it the beer goggles…
I’ll just stick with “play before you pay”.
As I always say, you can’t un fuck someone.
Once it’s done, it’s done.
You must recognize what comes with such a decision.
I say that to say men jerk off for safety.
Safety from ourselves.
Safety from our partner.
“I apologize for what was said when I was hungry”… same principle!!
The late night dialing to an ex that you wished ended as soon as you fell asleep.
What I’m saying is maybe that’s all you need
…is a simple jerk.
That jerk could have saved you from acquiring the monster…even a junior.
Maybe…
It just clears your head to allow other emotions to be present that are needed. Being horny isn’t going to cement your bond with her. This is why we let one fly before first dates. It’s so we can think with just one head. The disappointment knowing you creeped out the love of your life…for life!!
For lack of better words…
It keeps us grounded!!
It is also…
Our natural sleeping aide.
Listen…
You never slept until you fell into an “orgasmic coma”.
Literally falling asleep in ecstasy.
Those restless nights become the best sleep you ever had.
It’s really that simple.
My wiring has been altered from Baiting The Master for so long.
It really is true that it has its own side affects.
You can research that on your own.
To dive into that right now would be vertigo.
Baiting The Master didn’t start nor will it end with me.
This here universal.
Everybody reading this has either tried to do it, did it, or doing it…
Let’s take the stigma off of something so safe.
So natural.
Stop letting people dictate how you should feel about your body.
How you should touch your own body.
Instead focus on how you like to be touched.
Caressed.
The intensity needed to feel orgasmic.
Which finger does what…how many?
The varieties of an orgasm.
So much to learn about yourself right?
…But isn’t it so much fun?
Learning about what makes you behave as you do.
Well I do…
Nooo you don’t say?!
Anyway…
Baiting The Master is deeper than the release.
Not all the time but at times.
There are lessons to be learned everywhere as well as everyday…if only aware.
Why not learn about a subject you can constantly improve?
Ahhh…
Check mate…!!
PayneInTheCulo 