PayneInTheCulo

Well… I believe so.

Can’t we all just get along? 

Hell no! Many will say. 

The majority however I sincerely believe would accept this openly. The cluster fuck that we find ourselves never able to climb out of is due to pure ignorance. Mind you I do not say this with malicious intent. Well maybe a tad. Change does not come by its lonesome. It’s created by continuous progression, whether evil or peaceful. It’s all about consistency. Working out, promotion, and everything you can think of in life is based on being consistent. Disagree? Take a hard look at yourself. That could be why you are not where you ought to be at this very moment. Without this major key, you can simply forget about it. 

Now with that being said… 

People of color and police officers are the exact same people!!! 

I can hear it now…

Uncle Tom! Fucking coon! How D’Arcy? Do we kill cops? Do they keep dying at our hands? Can we walk with guns? Behave with pure immunity? Not give a flying fuck about destroying a family? Fuck 12! Pigs! Black Lives Matter!

We don’t make them create crimes! I was fearful for my life! It’s my job! He had this look of rage! He charged me! Where is the outrage when they kill each other?! I want to make it home to my family! It was justified! 

You would have to be either the sponsor for being truly stupid, so out of touch you believe only black people live in Harlem, or never experienced city life (no shade) if you haven’t heard any of those above. The hatred for cops amongst the black community is short of a nuclear explosion. The animosity towards black people by the police -not all- is felt every encounter turned physical, every shooting and every backlash headline. Every cop in uniform is not a racist the same way not every criminal is black. Point one! What seems to leave me beyond baffled is that emotions have trumped being realistic/truthful and logical! How as a man, a man are you not to snap when you have one under( arrest) and being torn a new asshole? How as a man, a man you behave with such disregard for life yet still demand respect? It’s a back and forth dispute that keeps costing us lives. Some more than the others. How the fuck? As an officer, how can you really believe you are part of the 1%? Really how? You have a gun. Check. The law. Check. Yet you get taxed just like the very people you police. Your check is short just like the people you police. You protect the very same structure that makes you risk your life for the same amount they pay for a watch. No shade, just stirring debate. As a community, us as people have to do better regardless. Whether or not cops are killing us, we need to get our shit all the way together. From the music we listen to, the way we think to the way we eat. We must get that “old thing back”. As the great Nas said “we were Kings and Queens, never porch monkeys”. Change begins within. With the very same person you see everyday in that mirror. 

What qualifies you to even make such comments D’Arcy? 

As a security guard in officer uniform as well as being a West Indian Boriqua in the United States, I feel qualified enough in my opinion. In a very rookie aspect, I have been on both sides. I have experienced what many and I mean many people will not. I have been called names I didn’t even knew existed. Torn a new one by a man with shit in his ass. Women with no teeth. Children with not a care in a world. I been stared at hard enough to feel their thoughts. It’s a real frightening experience at first. What separates asshole cops from the humble ones is simple: mental toughness. When mentally weak or unstable, constant negative interactions with certain type of people [e.g homeless] or group of people [e.g black people] breeds a resentment. Every time these people come to your post you automatically get into defensive mode. How do you know this?
I was one myself for a solid month. My target were the ones who behaved as if I didn’t exist. Yeah pride issues. I didn’t care if you were black, white, Mexican, a doctor, or administrator. That didn’t matter. Your body language was all I needed. You came to my post with a nasty stare. Pressing you. Try to enter a door without any sort of acknowledgement. Blocking you. You got loud. I got louder. You flexed and I flexed harder. The most relative experience in this position comes from my very own people. I truly, truly feel the hatred we have for cops. I can’t begin to tell you how people would be at ease until I was spotted. All of a sudden shoulders go up, chest comes out, and that stare. That long hard silent hatred stare. It’s one you will never understand unless you throw on that uniform. The irony of the whole thing is I was one of those people who did that to cops. Make them as uncomfortable as possible. Karma right? 

So I get it. I have been randomly selected for a search as well as the infamous “fitting the description”. I have been violated by cops via disrespectful comments and gestures. I have been stopped numerous times for reasons I still have yet to grasp. 

I UNDERSTAND BOTH ARGUMENTS! 

Now clear your minds for the next few minutes. Please be strong enough to clear emotions for a few minutes to let our ally logic kick in. Let me show you exactly how much we resemble each other.

1. Everyone wants to be black/cop until it’s time to be black/cop.
 This is number one for reason! Before I continue, ponder this shit! Think real hard about what is being said. Let me help. I will start with exhibit A.

Exhibit A- Movies/Characteristics 
Boyz N The Hood. Fresh. Menace to Society. Street Kings. Pride and Prejudice. Law and Order. Cops. Locked Up. Colors. Central Intelligence. Every slave movie. Etc.
 Now with that said, these two groups are awesome in terms of the entertainment revenue they bring in. Almost every movie production has their hand in some form of these two genres. It’s fun to watch. Why? Cause most watching want to be cops or possess cop attributes but damn sure won’t enlist. People want to be “urban” but don’t want what comes with that environment. So we rather watch it from a safe distance. Be honest how many watched Paid In Full and wanted to be Mitch or PO( before all that fuckery)? White or black. Or watched Street Kings and wanted to be a Ludlow? It’s intriguing. It’s a different life from what we are used to. It’s exciting. We have all these feelings yet we do not act on all of the feelings? Could you imagine? 
It’s fun to be a cop or a black person until you must deal with the negatives that come with that. Who wants to be shot at or attacked for a paycheck? Who wants to be terrified of being stopped by the very same people we pay(taxes) for protection. The constant negative stereotypes projected day in and day out which reinforces them. All cops are racist. Groups of black people are suspicious. It’s never clear cut as maturing through life has taught us. You have some bad apples in the black community the same way in white, Asians, law enforcement, NBA, cereal brands, etc. Generalization breeds contempt which breeds hatred. We must check these fucking emotions!! Once again the audience wants the excitement but doesn’t want to share your struggle. They see your living or surviving as entertainment. They make millions off of our stories. Yet they won’t dare to embrace our struggle. They won’t dare to run towards the shooting or break up that group fight. They will flat out refuse to apprehend an EDP (emotionally disturbed person). The audience amuses at the bright lights and fast police cars. The aura given off when an officer walks into a room. They crave that. 
The audience wants to be as comfortable in their own skin as the black community( fashion, demeanor, overall sense of style). Yet they wouldn’t want to fight their way to school or back home. They don’t want to know how it feels to be prisoners in your own home. Fast food on every corner. To see the junkies sprawled on the staircase. Yes this still happens! You want to get as big as The Rock yet won’t train? You want to be accepted by a community yet won’t respect their lives? You want to have authority power yet won’t show empathy? You want to be treated with respect yet talk without any? You want to get offended whenever told not to do something yet command respect? You cannot have one without the other my people. Both the police force and the black community must grasp this. We are different in our own ways but so much the same it cancels everything out. The audience doesn’t see anything wrong with this. While we continue to clash and my people continue to be killed, they continue to thrive. Take your fucking head out of your ass and witness the bigger fixing at hand!! Every time I pray I always tell the Big Homie “without you there is no us, there is nothing.”
Now I see myself saying “without the black community, minorities, and the immigrants (whatever you identify with), there is no you. There is no protection. There is no profit.” Think about it. I dare you to. Without the cops protection, you really believe these scumbags who manipulate our system would be so brazen? That with every scheme a legit fear would arise of retaliation? Without the police aka protection, the actions we are used to will be dramatically reduced. It’s easy to talk reckless behind an army, don’t you agree? Yet the very people who protect the system don’t see themselves as doing anything wrong. I’m just doing my job. That’s the system talking. That’s what we were born into. We as humans more so Americans have lost that fight. We have been overpowered by comfort and fear we no longer have it in us to sacrifice. Sacrifice is all we need as a race( the human race). Have the black community stop spending their dollars for a couple of days. I dare you. Have the cops stand up to the tyranny and realize we are all the same minus the titles. Have them walk off post collectively. I GUARANTEE YOU with consistency coupled with determination, we will flip this shit on its head. But we must overcome this first crucial tough as nails challenge which is understanding: we are the same!!

Exhibit B- Working harder for the same pay

Now this is the most actual factual one of them all. I know because I witnessed this as well as experience it every pay check. Both groups work the hardest yet never seem to be recognized for it. As an officer you do the most. The majority of the job doesn’t even include police work. It’s human interaction on every level. Police wear many different hats and if mentally weak can cave rather easily. You got your ass jumped on, spit at, or injured yourself. That doesn’t come with a raise though. Depending on your supervisor you may not even get a salute. Shit some may even ask can you still complete the tour after taking that ass whooping. 
 The black community has to work twice as much to receive the same recognition as other groups. We must study twice as hard and produce twice as much produce product to be acknowledged. Shit don’t be a woman either. You can triple that load. Women, the sex who gives us life, seem to always be picked on. That is only one aspect to being just a woman. Now imagine a female black cop or a black female. You already down two strikes. Why? Shit I can’t even tell you beyond the obvious. I was thrown in the game as is. For centuries we have been always viewed as inferior when actually we possess superior attributes. We can function, create, and survive amongst our counter parts if not better. So how is it both of the most hated, most judged by society groups hate each other? All I will say is media but that’s a whole another blog in itself. Once both groups realize or acknowledge that we/they have both experienced soreness from being screwed over for years, we can assess the relationship. Discuss a course of action. Then finally discuss openly all the fucking problems we have been sweeping over. 

2. Blacks/Cops are always the go to scapegoats (someone to blame). 

Exhibit C- Blame game
All black people are angry. They act the way they do cause they all are angry. All cops are vicious. Why do all of them abuse their power? 

The economy is faltering? Blame all those welfare queens*. Those lazy minorities sitting at home on their ass doing nothing for the economy. The high crime rate is due to these urban communities where the only care is finding a get quick rich scheme. 

Why did the cop tackle him? Why didn’t the cop tackle him? Why was the cop so focused on getting an arrest? Why didn’t the cop arrest him? Cop was too aggressive. Cop wasn’t aggressive enough.

Black people only care about material things.
Police only care about non minorities.
Blame the police us politicians just help create the laws.
Black people are too aggressive in their interactions. 

A “he said she said” game where the prizes have been counted in bodies. Disgusting! 

3. Both blacks/cops most often (if not always) end up on the short end of the stick (fucked). 

Exhibit D- Both groups have their supporters and haters within their own groups

 Crab in the barrel mentality exists almost every where, some more than others. Speaking from experience this mentality is strongly relevant for both of these groups. I have been in situations which required me do go above my normal duties that could have cost me my job. Could you believe my own people (boss) try to cook (fire) me? Being an officer is a job that needs the reassurance of a solid partner. How can I feel safe enough to run into a situation knowing my partner would either a. Not participate or b. Try to cost me my job to advance theirs? 
This goes the same for the black community. How can we build together when we cannot trust each other? We compete rather than assist. As long as your family good the hell with the others. Whether in uniform or in your own skin, we will always have some of our very own people rooting against us. The knowledge of this coupled with these two groups show us we actually have the same struggles. Both groups both deal with jealousy, competition, and flat out bullshit. The feeling of hopelessness, alone, and tired. Why? We are all the same with the same human emotions. Internal emotional experiences are felt the same way be virtue of being humans in American culture. E.g depression feels the same, it’s only the nature of the external experience that cause it which differentiates. Both of these groups struggle for identity amongst the outsiders and their very own. It’s just my struggles doesn’t come off with my uniform. My uniform is with me 24/7 every damn day of the year, even more so in summer!!

Exhibit E- Blue Wall of Silence/Stop Snitching

Both cops and the black community (not all but most) possess this notion of silence. You never tell on your fellow officer. You never snitch on your homeboy. Such acts are viewed as death within both groups. Such acts will isolate you from everything you knew. We share the same passion for this act whether it can be for different reasons. Whether it is dumb as shit in hindsight. The passion is what is shared. We do not want our own being picked on. This however gets really messy in A LOT of situations as history as shown us though. What I’m pointing out here though is the shared passion both groups possess. We damn near share the same views: 
one is high the other is low but we are still looking at the same building.
Keep quiet. 
No matter how dumb you feel this is, it highlights the passion amongst us. The hidden connection that binds us.  
Only difference is that you chose your color. I was born into mines.

The black community as well as the police force need to really grasp the notion we are in the same toilet. The same shit. The same smell. The same disgust. The same relief. We are not each other’s enemy. They would have you believe that though and strongly I might add. The enemy is the one behind the police handing out the orders. They kick a few crumbs down and watch us scramble for it regardless of who gets hurt. What we can’t seem to fucking grasp is that the table they are eating from IS OUR TABLE. Those crumbs were from OUR PLATE! Police and black people alike, if we stopped cheerleading for the system, they lose the game. Not just one game the whole damn season. The next and the next one as well. 

“We as minorities hate these blue bastards, modern day house niggers protecting all the masters”. 

This is why we the black community can’t stand police. They can’t seem to get THEY ARE US out of uniform. US without a badge. US without a gun. US without stripes, etc. Have we become so lost (yes) as a society that we no longer posses the empathy to understand our actions will have an everlasting effect. How can an officer sleep at night knowing his very own people are being brutalized by a force you protect (with your life). How can we as a people sleep at night knowing our daytime purchases feed the very system that brutalizes us? You can’t quit drinking in a bar bro. The irony is so amazing yet so authentic I almost feel as if the battle is lost. But if I really felt like this, I would have never wrote this. We need to stop clashing. We need to look past the badges, the stares and the overall hatred for each other. We need to look at ourselves. We need to check ourselves. We need to remind ourselves “I’m better than no one”. These issues aren’t anything new which is depressing but quitting is more depressing. Not trying is depressing. As a person of color and a person who has served law enforcement it is my duty to try to make them understand. We got to fight! We cannot quit. We got to have some form of perseverance…

We got to have hope, if not for our people, for yourself, for change begins with the self.