If you were to take a survey right now as in right now, asking who likes to go out and eat. I believe almost everyone will raise their hands.
How can you not agree?
Wait, people counting their calories or are their own personal chefs, this isn’t for you.
Planning, anticipating a night out with friends or loved ones. People you actually like to be around, am I right? A variety of dishes, drinks. One of my favorite things to do is read a menu. Before, during, shit sometimes even after. Studying each dish, you can savor the creation. Everything that makes it so. Some dishes amuse me, others disgust. My problem (greedy ass) I can’t choose amongst the dishes I do approve of. Ever narrowed it down, ordered the dish to want the other dishes you were debating on. My mental and taste buds work in coherence. Studying the menu maybe back firing.
Yooo!!
Why they never have the prices for the drinks? Rhetorical question but still. After the first drink with everyone talking, making funnies, appetizers being served. When did I drink four mojitos? Separate checks please.
Ahh pure comedy. Looking cheap when out has always been one of those close your eyes, trying not to see the car crash. Equally those who know they ordered more than their payment…Shit is embarrassing!
Back to it…
Until recently I could never discipline to take it slow. If it’s edible and touches our table, I’m gunning for it…
Free chips/salsa, bread/oil, cheddar bay biscuits, breadsticks/salad. My ass could make that a meal quickly. Yet I just ordered an appetizer, my main dish, and drinks (with alcohol, without). While still telling the waiter to bring more free food. By the arrival of the drinks and appetizers, I’m already plagued by the ITIS. I cannot stress how many times I repeated this cycle. Don’t forget the water being drank to level out the alcohol.
Mud but anyone??
Red lobster, mother fucking (Sam L voice) Red Lobster. Equivalent to a five star hotel at one point according to my endorphins. Biscuits good enough for many to firmly state “I go solely for the biscuits.” Stuffed shrimp stuffed with crab meat covered in yellow cheese (worst cheese known), shrimp scampi, French fries and broccoli. Broccoli?! It’s all about balance. Plus all those biscuits. Their drinks are delicious but lack any punch. This coming from a light weight maybe feather. As great as it has been, I cannot eat it again. Well it’s been some years. Could be different this time. We’ll see.
Olive Garden will always be my bro. Free salad and breadsticks- non stop! Also I learned the hard way you are to order first to receive this one two combo. I asked not knowing once and received an impatient stare I believe I have mastered myself. Free wine samples don’t hurt. Always cold though. What is the damn reason behind this? Shivering while touring Italy.
Makes no fucking sense. The two-three samples…clutch. My go to is ravioli with meat sauce. Price friendly and all that free food expanding inside, I can never finish the plate. Peach ice tea is one of the best beverages there. Facts! I never not went home without leftovers. It’s impossible!
Applebees, Friday’s, UNOs to me are the cousins who do not need friends. They have each other. Drinks are best in Applebees. UNOs- best pizza (no shit). Friday’s, been some years but I always remembered their menu. Weird but true. Could be it being one of the first spots I been to.
Blockheads will forever be Blockheads. Price friendly, great food, and strong drinks. How they still thrive, must be its profile. Who doesn’t like Blockheads? All jokes aside, does anyone know? If you find them, have them email me- darcythomaspayne@gmail.com
I’m eager to see the flip side. Keep me posted.
Buffalo Wild Wings, I recently discovered. Nothing negative to say.
Ehh, give me a moment
Both locations had horrible service. So bad it made you want to take a shirt that very second and lead by example. Lemon pepper wings and honey BBQ with beer battered onion rings. A mojito and I’m set. I repeat the service is horrendous despite the positive views, I rather make my own wings.
Luke’s Lobsters will never fail in my eyes unless lobsters rebel or global warming cuts all that shit out. Taste of Maine is a pure tease. Half rolls: shrimp, crab, and lobster. Tasty Maine soda and good chips. Me, I have to always get the Rock Claw crab legs. Perfect add on. This place had me broke at one point. I had to instill emergency disciplinary measures. Once a month to when I’m comfortable enough. I’ll be back though.
Diners will always be my favorite. Old souls lingering in each booth. Not broken why fix it right? Food never seems to disappoint. Homemade lemonade, each diner must share the recipes. Delicious but they taste the same in each. Breakfast and cheeseburger deluxe is my staple. Don’t ask me about anything else.
Brother Jimmy’s holds dear in my eating out experiences. Food never lacking with its choices of BBQ sauces will never be forgotten. Drinks on point to and by now if you haven’t noticed, love the easiness on my pockets.
Bubba Gumps- clutch!!
It’s seafood and drinks make for one special time. Its mojitos (yeah yeah I know) are A1. Forest Gump memorabilia everywhere. I was in bliss learning so much about a timeless classic. Best part. Hands down.
Going out to eat is a staple to mankind. Where business deals are finalized, marriage proposals, graduation, moving-any reason you can think of. Go out and eat. Tradition to many. A lifestyle to some. What would existence be?
Fucking American right?!
Or maybe I just love to eat. Around good vibes, tipsy laughter, maybe even some flirty eyes. Getting sung happy birthday in front of everyone. Embarrassing laughter. Seen it so much, it became regular.
Sometimes even a bother. I’m trying to eat here!! All those loud whistles and bells, shut up! You got it you miserable bastard.
I love the work by the chefs I never get to see. To cook so many dishes with each having its own expression. I’m in debt to you. Your work is unmatched. Sure as hell couldn’t do that. I thought I did at one point. I concluded I rather eat then cook. Can’t be an Iron Chef being an over reaching taste tester.
Depending on your genetic make up, each outing is different even if in the same location. New faces to study walking by. Ideas gathering while drooling over your neighbors hot dish fresh out the kitchen. I use to lose my shit over these long waits.
Get over yourself bro.
Maybe it’s because I’m already hungry borderline grouchy by the time my name is put on the wait list. My appetite acting for me. It’s not your waiter/ waitress fault you decided not to eat before you came. Saving room for this moment right here.
Ain’t that a bitch.
Even worse when you cannot eat due to being filled with gas.
No food allowed!!
Insanity to keep doing this believing your stomach will eventually expand one day. Due to my pockets and common sense, I finally (ehh) broke the pattern. However if I’m low to the earth or sky diving, discipline is determined on how much food I can try. Shaking my damn head.
My mother and Pam used to shoot daggers at me if I was to lay down in the restaurant.
Ughhhh!! Get me out of here!!
Why do you like to go out?
After careful examination, I got a few answers. Its what is done before going out. The dressing up, glam, the cut, picking outfits. Anticipation, the eagerness of seeing new people. Being waited on at all times. Your enjoyment is what matters. Being the person having to always wait on people or cooking for people, I can see why many consider it a priority. Roles reversed and it just feels good. Me personally I feel odd when calling the server. Their job I know. Still I don’t like to be beckoned and called for every little thing. Maybe it’s just me.
Going out solo, with your love, family, friends, the aura itself. Remember how you felt. Cheeks hurting from smiling. Voice raspy from all that laughing. A stain on your favorite shirt… all worth it!!
Oh and tip well only if the service is well. Show love and it will be love.
Love to all the servers,
Chefs,
Receptionist,
Even the shitty ones. Without you this would be just eating (blessings regardless, but that’s not this).
I can see our food coming. One of the purest forms of happiness. Don’t you agree?
PayneInTheCulo 