“Daniel, we ever told you about JB?
JB?! Nah. Whose JB?
JB!! -sounds off from the door entrance.
The infamous Johnny Blaze but of course– Delilah chimes in.
Johnny Blaze?! Now that is a name. Who that?
He is exactly what you envision a budtender to be I shit you not.”
Another manager (I think) named Stanley fully enters the room, eager to share his tales on JB.
“Johnny Blaze was a wild boy!! Only person I ever worked with to open sealed products so the customers could smell it.”
The three of them share a good belly laugh.
“You are lying. There is no way.
Daniel, I am telling you. Poke holes in the ounces for a smell test. Somehow pop an eighth with the extra protection and seal it back identical. Everyone above us HATED JB. His damages every week had to total like what Delilah, maybe two hundred easy? He opened everything my boy. His reviews though- made the store look superb. People came in just to see Johnny Blaze himself. Management would discipline him softly with many write ups. But the customers kept coming.
I apologize you never met Stanley right Daniel?
Nah., I do not think I ever seen you before personally. I could be high. When you got here?”
Stanley laughs uncontrollably and Delilah interjects…
“How long you been manager Daniel? – Delilah asks.
Shit, maybe, two weeks now.
Closing right?
Facts.
This our first time closing together? I could swear it is.
Yeah. I believe so.
And you never noticed shit moving after a certain time?”
Daniel knows exactly what she is talking about. He heard the stories. Eighth jars dropping to the floor as if pushed. Certain pre rolls, especially the top shelf 1g pre rolls, would somehow be smoked- no ashes though. Always halfway but no evidence of it being smoked. More mysterious, certain half ounces would gradually “lose” flower. Day by day the half ounce would, to the sane mind- disappear. There is only hard evidence it happened once but learning about Johnny Blaze invites many questions.
“Aye don’t tell him nothing yet Delilah- damn!
Calm down I forgot, I forgot. Go ahead.”
Daniel is smiling but feeling eerie. Were they joking, pulling an elaborate prank on a new manager? And who was this Stanley? Questions that go unanswered when you been hitting a live resin pen all day in a customer service-based job. Forgive him…
“Ok so Johnny pushed boundaries. All the time. I swear to me bro, he lit a pre roll because the customer swore JB did not know his terps. Asking the customer could he smell the limonene after each pull. Management lost their shit when he did that. Got suspended for a week behind that.
Bro that is madness.
No. That is Johnny Blaze.”
Taking a moment to count the evening drop in the big safe, Daniel still has some questions for his nerves.
“Where is Johnny now ya?
Delilah, you tell him that sad shit. I can’t.
Johnny Blaze died in a car accident D.
Damnnn!! What?! That sucks! Where?”
She walks him out the office, to the front of the store. She points towards parking lot exit, heading to the street.
“Right there man. Right fucking there. Making the right and got hit by a drunk driver after closing. Broke our hearts. Even now. But you still here right Johnny?!”
He looks around nervous, anticipating an answer.
“Don’t worry. He never answers. He always showing off though…”
Daniel is waiting for a laugh or cackle, but Delilah just gives him a half smile.
“Oh, you think I’m playing?! You see that Greasy Runtz half in the safe. I mean it is poss to be a half but barely has a quarter left. That is Johnny Blaze favorite strain. Every time we get it since his passing, freaky shit happens. Last time it was the pre rolls. You had to hear about that?!
So, you telling me he never left?!
I’m telling you he still costing the company money”– she shoots back.
Daniel cannot help but laugh. Delilah senses his pessimism.
“By tonight, you going to see JB yourself mark my words. He always comes out for me and Stanley.”
Whether out of defense or being scared, Daniel cannot take this seriously despite believing the legend.
“I hear you, but yo who’s Stanley? I know I be high but I’m not bugging he new?
You’ll get used to him. He’s cool.”
Fortunately for Daniel the night finishes without incident. Having to close with Delilah the next night, hoping the JB prank is over.
The next evening, while counting registers, Delilah excuses herself to the bathroom. Not a word about JB all night. Nor a sighting of Stanley.
Daniel, still in a zone with smooth R&B playing, hears a solid thump. Something fell for sure. Doing his best to ignore it, he starts smelling some dank. Afraid he is sitting on his pen again; he rushes to his pocket. It’s off. Must be Delilah. She’s brave as hell doing that in here, he thinks. But Delilah shoots around the corner just as Daniel goes back to sit down.
“Yo you smoking in the bathroom?!
You must be high asking me a question like that.
You don’t smell that?
She breathes in heavy.
Mmm… Greasy Runtz.
Hey Johnny.
The fuck you mean Hey Johnny?!
Oh, now you believe me. Something fell right?
Yeah, but I never checked.
Come on, I’ll show you.”
Daniel, who hasn’t made sense of the situation yet follows Delilah to the racks.
“Yo…
Sshh…
Yo…
SSHH!!
Look on the floor over here. Yup like I knew it- top shelf. Either he’s going to smoke this batch or letting us know it is boof. We will find out on payday.
Want to see something really cool?
Delilah, you having a lot of fun with this shit, aren’t you?!
Come on!!
Open the safe and check the half ounce. Watch!”
Just as he feared, he opened the safe to find the rest of the Greasy Runtz grounded down; ready to pack in a cone.
“AYO!! So, he was right in here with me rolling up?!
Probably even smoked one too.”- Delilah quips.
Goosebumps cover his arms and neck.
“Yo Delilah, I got to go.
We are almost done. Don’t be a coward.
Damn ninja. All that?
Yeah. You took it as a joke, right? Safe to say? Now with it proven, you run away in fear. That is a coward.
Delilah… relax. I am running away from a ghost a day before Halloween. That’s all you soldier.”
Just as Daniel finishes his retort, Stanley bops in. Daniel cannot help but wonder where the fuck did he come from? And wearing the same clothes. And when the store is closed. With no name tag. Now Daniel is damn near panicking. His repeated use of his sativa dominated hybrid live resin is catching up. He attempts to calm his overthinking/panic.
“Hey guys I’m looking for JB. You seen him?”
Without missing a beat Delilah says he’s hotboxing in the bathroom. Stanley smiles and walks away.
“Yo Delilah, what-is-going-on?!
Don’t be nervous bro. And DON’T QUIT!! They are not dangerous.
THEY?!
Come on Daniel, you think Stanley has an overnight shift? How?
I am way too high for this. Wouldn’t the cameras catch all that?
Not at this location. Their budget went dry towards the end. We do have our own personal line to the cops though. Oh, and these cool panic buttons. At best, the cameras catch an eighth or two flying out. How they haven’t caught them tapping the half ounce is beyond me. Kinda hard to explain in an industry with so many damages and theft. Telling corporate a ghost smoked a hundred-dollar half ounce would get all of us fired. So, after some time. Maybe around five months, nobody got in trouble. The GM did not report it. Corporate didn’t push. More questions than answers I assume. So, I left it alone. That’s when Johnny Blaze introduced himself to me. He said I was rad cause I wasn’t a narc. If I took my edibles that day, I would have freaked and quit. No BS.
And Stanley??
Stanley passed away a long time ago when this place was a BBQ spot. Heart attack he said. Real lonely until Johnny Blaze arrived. In life or death, JB always makes it light. Now these two run amok. They wait until we close, away from the customers like we wish we could. And get BAKED!! Their favorite spot is the bathroom. Check it out.
You coming?!
I already met them. Your turn.”
No longer fearful but incredibly weary, Daniel slowly walks to the men’s restroom. Upon reaching the door, nothing but dank and laughter.
“Hey man. You not going to quit now, are you?”
The infamous Johnny Blaze.
“You met Stanley I assume– coughing out a fat rip.
Stanley’s red eyes greet Daniel but barely can open.
You have not been blasted till you smoked with JB. I swear on my lives.”
“Hey Daniel, is it? Don’t quit on Delilah. On us. Everyone does. I get it but don’t be a bitch man. We got all this weed. Its free. And Delilah she’s pretty cool man. Just, just live man. Imagine I would have died in front of a Sephora or something- My God!! Yeah man. Do what Johnny Blaze do. Just chilll…man. You do not have to know it all man. Vibe man. Smoke this free weed, and chilll man. Just chilll.
Now with that said- Daniel, my brother, it’s time for ya to split like a banana. Hold the cherry. For Christmas is it still Merry? Ahh man, Stanley show him out. We got that sliced brisket. With the honey garlic BBQ sauce waiting for us. WOOO!! LET’S GO!! Tell Delilah we will see her later like an alligator. I should have ran for mayor. Mic drop. Peace man.”
Lost for words and a bad case of cotton mouth, he walks back to the office, Delilah is beaming from ear to ear.
“Not so bad right bro. How you feeling?
Nobody is going to believe me, are they?
They’re not.
And these ghosts are here to stay, correct?
They are.”
Daniel contemplates his options. After much internal debate, the cons remain the bratty customers and incompetent management. He acknowledges his fear and decides to not a be a bitch. Right JB?! Pulling the gate down, Delilah eyes him suspiciously believing its his last night.
“I’m not going to quit D.
Oh Goodie. JB wanted me to give you this.”
She hands him a fat joint reeking of Greasy Runtz.
“Here, it’s on the house” …
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
DRC Thomas-Payne
PayneInTheCulo 